Nicholas Tillemans (nickatillemans) wrote,
Nicholas Tillemans
nickatillemans

Soul Searching

Almost a decade ago, I accused a group of people on a message board of being bullies for making fun of a learning disabled writer. He was banned from the board and, so, couldn't speak in his own defense. Having distantly known the writer for years, it upset me and I spoke openly of my disgust. Immediately, I found that people were putting my words under the microscope; and I had to watch every word I said. After an ugly week on the board, things tapered off and the battle died down. A few people actually left the board; because they were offended that others took my side and actually helped me smooth things out. I paid attention to the drama for a couple of years; but, finally, I just gave up on it. I had too many other things going on; and I hardly had any time to even write at all.

Now, fast forward seven or eight years. That same learning disabled writer is still battling it out with these people. The people who were bullying him so many years ago are still at it, only now they are the victims of his idle verbal threats (made in anger). Because he has made every possible idle threat he could to men and women alike, these people have made the social media case against him.

This doesn't stop him. He's ready to keep fighting. There is no dissuading him from getting even with them…by "putting them under the microscope" or whatever the new tactic is. It continues to escalate.

So, he's a culprit too. But the odds are stacked tremendously against him; and people are sniping at him from all sides.

The unfairness of this is what makes my blood boil.

He's not an easy person to defend, especially not now. He has revealed that he rigidly holds ultra conservative beliefs, which are at odds with mine. He says to women he perceives as enemies that they should gang-raped and other ugly things like that, because those statements are probably the worst things he thinks he can say to them. He openly celebrates the deaths of people he dislikes and/or their relatives.

I've been trying to parse out the truth for the past week or so; and I've been doing a lot of soul-searching. I continue to speak in his defense where it seems warranted; but, at the same time, a lot of his beliefs and actions run counter to what I believe and how I would behave. So, I worry about what I'm defending in the end.

And, personally, I reap no benefit from it. I'm making enemies all over the place by simply showing kindness to this person and listening to his side without joining the attack.
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